The Better Man

The Better Man

Dramatis Persona
NATHAN- The Best Man
BRENDAN- The Better Man
CHRISTINE- The Maid of Honor
ELIZABETH- The Honored Maid

Setting: The Entire action of the play takes place within Nathan’s hotel room in the early morning hours before the wedding of Brendan and Elizabeth.

Nathan, a man in his mid-twenties, sits at the foot of his hotel bed. He wears the bare bones of a suit, with tie askew and shirt unbuttoned. He is disheveled and distraught, and there is a deep pain in his eyes, as he remains silent. The room is in chaos; empty liquor bottles lay at his feet mixed with clothes and ripped pieces of paper. He is attempting to write something, but gets frustrated and tears up the piece of paper he is writing on

NATHAN: Words, Words, Words…Hamlet would be disgusted.

Nathan begins to place a few pieces of torn paper in the wastebasket on the upstage side of the bed.

NATHAN: (Nathan screams as he steps on a broken bottle) Damn It!

Nathan slumps back onto the bed and examines his foot, he looks around for something, finds a piece of scrap paper and begins to dab his foot with it. After a moment he looks at the pieces of paper

NATHAN: Great, I actually liked this one…

NATHAN wanders offstage, it is assumed to tend to his wound. BRENDAN enters the room; he is a handsome, but short, man in a suit sans tie. BRENDAN sports a black eye on his right eye and appears to have a busted lip. BRENDAN sits on the bed exactly as NATHAN had moments before; he picks up one of the less obliterated pieces of paper and reads it. BRENDAN begins to sob openly. NATHAN re-enters

NATHAN: Jesus! Brendan, what the hell happened to you?

BRENDAN does not answer, but continues to sob, after a moment NATHAN lifts his arm towards BRENDAN and BRENDAN blows his nose on the sleeve of NATHAN’S shirt.

NATHAN: I was trying to get a better look at your eye, but I guess the gesture could be confused as an offering of sinus support.

BRENDAN smiles for a moment, then goes back to sobbing

NATHAN: Allright, now is the part where you tell me… what the hell is going on?

BRENDAN says nothing, but shakes his head no. A beat. CHRISTINE enters; she is a beautiful young woman. Her eyes sparkle with passion and life, and she is dressed for a night on the town, but is wearing sneakers.

NATHAN: Does this hotel room have locks on their doors?

CHRISTINE: There you are!

NATHAN: Of course I’m here, this is my room!

CHRISTINE: No you dipshit, HIM! (CHRISTINE points at BRENDAN)

NATHAN: Actually the argument could be made that he really isn’t all that ‘here’ right now

CHRISTINE: Shut up

NATHAN: Will do

NATHAN gets up and moves away from BRENDAN who now has lifted his knees and has his head resting upon them, covering his face.

BRENDAN: Is…Is she okay?

NATHAN: Wait a minute, Wait a minute, WAIT…A…MINUTE. Did you and Lizzie get in a fight? Is that why you have-

CHRISTINE: I thought I told you to shut up

NATHAN: Right…

BRENDAN: Is she?

CHRISTINE: Of course she is

BRENDAN: Its all…all my fault…I….

BRENDAN begins to get emotional again, CHRISTINE comforts him and he leans against her for support

CHRISTINE: She isn’t angry. You should go talk to her

BRENDAN: I don’t know if I can

CHRISTINE: Go on

BRENDAN waits a moment, then exits. A Beat. CHRISTINE picks up one of the almost empty bottles on the floor and finishes it off. NATHAN goes to the mini-bar and grabs two bottles of beer and hands one to CHRISTINE. CHRISTINE takes out a lighter and opens the bottle

NATHAN: I thought you quit smoking

CHRISTINE: Yeah, well…things change

NATHAN: I always thought they just stayed the same, forever and ever

CHRISTINE: Stop being smart

NATHAN: Well that’s one accusation you never threw at me when we we’re dating

CHRISTINE: (laughing) True

NATHAN: Now can you please tell me what happened?

CHRISTINE: With them?

CHRISTINE gestures towards the direction BRENDAN exited.

CHRISTINE: (After a Beat) Or Us?

NATHAN: (laughs) Either, although the later I believe I’m more familiar with

CHRISTINE: You’d be surprised…

CHRISTINE takes a swig from her beer, it is a long one

NATHAN: What happened?

CHRISTINE: They got in a fight over something stupid. Something about their families not getting along, she went and got a little tipsy at the bar, ended up on some guys arm and he saw her. And then…you left…

NATHAN sits next to CHRISTINE on the bed, and he too takes a long sip of his beer. CHRISTINE lays her head on NATHAN as BRENDAN did to her earlier. NATHAN runs his fingers through her hair.

NATHAN: I’m still waiting for an answer

CHRISTINE: (sitting up) I’m Sorry

NATHAN: For what?

CHRISTINE: For this

CHRISTINE kisses NATHAN, he kisses back and things begin to get heated when ELIZABETH enters. She the beautiful bride to be, dressed as sexy as can be for the night before her wedding. The makeup on her face is running from tears. She stops short when she comes upon CHRISTINE and NATHAN

ELIZABETH: (exiting) Excuse me

CHRISTINE: (chasing after ELIZABETH) Elizabeth, wait!

NATHAN is alone on stage. He waits a moment, goes out into the hall and re-enters looking confused. NATHAN takes a piece of paper out of his shirt pocket and begins to read it

NATHAN: The second I met Brendan I knew he was the man to Marry my sister. Granted we we’re fourteen at the time, but I had height hopes…

NATHAN erases what he wrote and continues; unbeknownst to him CHRISTINE re-enters and watches him for a moment

NATHAN: I had high hopes for the young guy, even if he was lacking in the height department himself…

CHRISTINE: Short jokes, very original

NATHAN: (startled) I didn’t know I was being critiqued

CHRISTINE: (gesturing to all the scraps of paper) Clearly I am not your harshest critic

NATHAN: Yeah…So, about earlier

CHRISTINE: Oh, right.

CHRISTINE paces to the other side of the room

CHRISTINE: Brendan and Elizabeth we’re down at the bar celebrating together, when some asshole made a pass at Liz. Now Brendan had a few drinks in him by this point so he got angry and got in a fight with the guy. Well turns out the particular guy was the son of the hotel owner, and being the nice guy that he is the owner decided to kick Brendan and Elizabeth out of the hotel…

NATHAN: Wow

CHRISTINE: I know, and now they need to get a new…

NATHAN: I wasn’t asking about that

CHRISTINE: Well, what are you talk…(realizing) Right, that…Can we just pretend that never happened? A Little Maid of Honor moment of Madness, that’s all

NATHAN: Okay

NATHAN puts his arm around CHRISTINE. BRENDAN and ELIZABETH enter together, holding hands

BRENDAN: Hey guys

NATHAN/CHRISTINE: Hey

ELIZABETH: So Nathan, can Brendan room with you tonight?

NATHAN: Of course

BRENDAN: And Chrissy, I was wondering if Elizabeth could share your room tonight

CHRISTINE: Of course, we have to be up in… (Looks at her watch) three hours to start getting ready anyway.

BRENDAN: Great, I’m just gonna go grab our things from the car

BRENDAN exits. There is an awkward silence as all three realize last time they we’re all in the room ELIZABETH broke up a rather passionate moment

ELIZABETH: So….

CHRISTINE: (exiting) You know, I think I’d better go clean up my room…

NATHAN goes to follow her but ELIZABETH stops him. NATHAN sighs and finishes off his beer

ELIZABETH: How goes your speech?

NATHAN laughs and gestures to the mess of papers on the floor, he continues drinking

ELIZABETH: I figured the speech would be the easy part for you

NATHAN: Easy compared to what?

ELIZABETH: Seeing Christine again

NATHAN: Well, you we’re right

ELIZABETH: I really appreciate you being Brendan’s best man, it means a lot to both of us. He really looks up to you

NATHAN: Figuratively and Literally

ELIZABETH: (smiling) Stop

NATHAN: Sorry. That’s all I seem to be able to come up with so far…short jokes

ELIZABETH: Heavy on jokes, short on substance

NATHAN: Sounds like my relationship with Christine

ELIZABETH: You know that’s not true

NATHAN: It’s easy to convince myself that’s all it was. Just an amusment for a short while, passing time between important moments in our live’s. That’s easier than excepting the truth

ELIZABETH: And what is that?

BRENDAN walks upstage towards the window, as he begins his speech CHRISTINE re-enters unseen to BRENDAN.

NATHAN: I had tasted the very wine of heaven. I had laid my head next to an angel and dreamed nothing but selfish dreams. I let perfect happiness fall into my lap and then pushed it away…

NATHAN turns around and sees CHRISTINE has been listening. NATHAN moves towards her but CHRISTINE quickly turns and exits. ELIZABETH stands and puts her arm around her brother. BRENDAN re-enters

BRENDAN: So, ready for bed roomie?

NATHAN exits quickly

BRENDAN: Was it something I said?

ELIZABETH: No. We’re not the only one’s having relationship issues tonight

BRENDAN: Oh….but our issues are over…aren’t they?

ELIZABETH is silent for a moment

ELIZABETH: Yes, for tonight

BRENDAN: What do you mean?

ELIZABETH: Brendan, there are always going to be other men who say things about me that you won’t like. But you can’t fight all of them

BRENDAN: I know…

ELIZABETH: Brendan, I know you’re nervous that I’m going to leave you

BRENDAN: I…

ELIZABETH: And to tell you the truth, for a moment tonight I thought I might

BRENDAN: What?

ELIZABETH: Only for a moment

BRENDAN: This is not what I want to be hearing on the night before my wedding

ELIZABETH: (Taking BRENDANS hand) OUR wedding. It was only a moment because I realized you weren’t one of those sleezeballs who hits on me at bars. You are a better man than any of those men, and I can’t wait to marry you

ELIZABETH kisses BRENDAN gently

BRENDAN: You really mean it?

ELIZABETH: I do

BRENDAN: Then why wait?

ELIZABETH: What do you mean?

BRENDAN: We can’t have the ceremony here anymore, and Vegas is only a few hours away. We make the drive and we’ll be back in time for the reception.

ELIZABETH: Okay, lets go.

BRENDAN starts to leave with ELIZABETH, thinks for a moment and stops. BRENDAN picks up a piece of paper and scribbles on a piece of paper and places it on the bed. ELIZABETH and BRENDAN exit. A Beat. NATHAN enters, he sits on the bed and reads BRENDAN’s note. NATHAN smiles. CHRISTINE enters, now dressed more casually, her outfit matching the sneakers on her feet. NATHAN looks up at her

NATHAN: Now I recognize you

CHRISTINE: You couldn’t before?

NATHAN: I pretended not too, the only memory I have of you really dressed up is the night we…you know

CHRISTINE: Ah, that’s right. We really weren’t the fancy party types

NATHAN: Not really

CHRISTINE: That was fine with me though

NATHAN: Was it?

CHRISTINE: Yeah, I mean sure a girl likes to get dressed up every once and a while, but that’s what friends weddings are for!

CHRISTINE sits on the bed; there is a great space between her and NATHAN waiting to be filled. NATHAN hands CHRISTINE the note from BRENDAN as he says his next line

NATHAN: Unfortunately, looks like we won’t need our costumes for tomorrow.

CHRISTINE reads the note, puts it down and looks puzzled

CHRISTINE: I don’t get it,” Gone out for Ovaltine”?

NATHAN laughs

CHRISTINE: Clearly I’m missing something here

As NATHAN begins this speech he moves center, away from the bed. The lights on CHRISTINE dim and a single spot comes up on NATHAN. NATHAN adjusts his outfit during the speech as well, and during the end he looks clean and polished. It should be clear that by the end of the speech that NATHAN is giving his wedding toast at the reception. Applause should follow his speech

NATHAN: The second I met Brendan, I knew he was the man to marry my sister. Granted, he was only fourteen at the time, but I had high hopes. Even if he was lacking in the Height department himself. He was waiting for Lizzie to come out of her room to go to the homecoming game with him and I was downstairs playing video games and drinking ovaltine. To my surprise Brendan actually came over and asked what I was drinking. He told me he had never tried Ovaltine, so naturally I gave him some, and ever since then he was hooked. Every time he would come over he’d ask to have some, as if it was filling some need within him. We’ll I know for a fact that Ovaltine is good for you, and I also know that Brendan has been so good for my little Lizzie. He may not be the tallest man in the world…or the best looking

Laughter, NATHAN smiles offstage towards the invisible BRENDAN

NATHAN: Brendan is something different, he is the kind of guy…the kind of man, who helped Elizabeth deal with our father’s passing. He did one better than that, he helped me get through it too. And when our mother was killed in a car accident, Brendan spent the night wiping the tears from our eyes. Our titles should be switched today, because I only wish I could be groomed to be more like Brendan, the Best Man I have ever known.

Applause, NATHAN raises a glass he has picked up at some point during the speech. He takes a drink and moves back towards the bed. The lights come up on the bed, it is empty. CHRISTINE is gone, and the room has no more clutter. All the pieces of paper are in a single wastebasket that is overflowing. NATHAN sits for a moment on the bed, the lies down for a moment. There is a knock at the door

NATHAN: It’s open

BRENDAN enters

BRENDAN: Hey Nate

NATHAN: Hey little brother

BRENDAN: That’s right, we’re brothers now…scary

NATHAN: Only by law, and whoever paid attention to the law anyways

BRENDAN: True

BRENDAN laughs. A Beat

BRENDAN: I really appreciated all the things you said today

NATHAN: It was nothing

BRENDAN: I know it wasn’t, Lizbeth told me how hard a time you we’re having because of…we’ll because of Christine

Silence

BRENDAN: What happened with you two last night anyways?

Silence

NATHAN: It wasn’t about me

BRENDAN: What wasn’t?

NATHAN: The Speech, wasn’t about me, it was about you.

BRENDAN: That’s not all. I’ve gone to so many wedding receptions where the Best Man just makes a half-cocked rambling speech about nothing, even though it’s for their best friend or brother. Why did you care about this so much?

NATHAN: I didn’t

BRENDAN: What?

NATHAN: I don’t mean I didn’t care about the speech, but I wasn’t stressing over it

BRENDAN: I saw the pieces of paper everywhere last night, all scribbled with speeches

NATHAN removes a piece of paper from his shirt pocket and hands it to BRENDAN

NATHAN: I date all my writing, old habit of mine

BRENDAN: This is your toast, but if this is right then… you wrote it over a month ago

NATHAN nods

BRENDAN: Then what…

Before BRENDAN can finish NATHAN has reached into the wastebasket and pulled out a piece of paper, he hands it to BRENDAN, who reads it.

BRENDAN: What did she say?

NATHAN shakes his head no

BRENDAN: I’m sorry

NATHAN: Don’t be, this is your big day

BRENDAN: I could have Lizbeth talk to her, maybe she’ll…

NATHAN: No, that’s allright

BRENDAN begins to exit
BRENDAN: Well, I guess I really don’t know what to say. I’m not as good with words as you are…so…

NATHAN: Goodbye Brendan

NATHAN stands up and extends his hand towards BRENDAN. BRENDAN pushes aside the hand and instead hugs his new big brother

NATHAN: Don’t get emotional now, I had enough of that last night

BRENDAN laughs

BRENDAN: No, no more tears…not for a long time I hope

BRENDAN exits. NATHAN sits on the stage a moment, then removes from his pocket a ring case. He opens it just so the audience can tell it is some kind of engagement ring. He closes it. He opens it again. CHRISTINE enters, NATHAN looks up at her.

Blackout

Insomnia

Insomnia

There is no reason left for me to find.

No purpose I have yet to discover.

It happened as it was

I can do nothing

Time has shifted my mind towards other things, only for passing moments.

As I wake, as I breathe,

it haunts me.

Madness consumes me in moments of motionless memory.

The covers seem cold on hot nights, the heat to much to bear in the dead of winter.

Questions I can never answer twirl above me, dancing to deride me.

In Glass Eyes

This is a revision/edited version of the previous blog, trimmed in some areas but with a brand new introduction/ending. Enjoy!

In Glass Eyes

I awake from my nightmare in a room of a thousand dolls. Two thousand lifeless little lenses seem focused on me with contempt. They are my jury, having pronounced me guilty before I utter a sound. Where the Hell am I? I wonder silently
"Hey Little Dude, you allright in there?" A scratchy voice reminiscent of a bullfrog calls to me. The man with the bullfrog in his throat flicks on the light. I must still be dreaming.
Standing before me is a man who bears a striking resemblance to Frank Zappa. More so a combination between Charles Manson and Frank Zappa and he is as disturbing in appearance as that combination implies. His long frizzy black hair seems a web around his skull. His immense salt and pepper beard appears to have eaten his face, as there is no trace of it beneath. I can tell he is stoned, he smells like my brother. His eyes seem like rubies glimmering within puddles of darkness. His breath wafts over my head and I detect strong notes of eggs, mustard and rotten meat. I try to stop myself from gagging under the immense fumigation, but I cannot. I spy a silver trashcan to my left and I lunge for it, expelling all possible remains of dinner.
Frank Zappa Manson kneels down beside me and places one of his leathery paws on my shoulder. Despite the fact I have no idea who this man is I somehow feel comforted. Beneath his wild features there is an aura of calm and peace, probably from all the pot he has been smoking. He smiles at me and I can see that his teeth share a similar color palate to the newly decorated bottom of the trashcan.
"It's gonna be okay man" He whispers as he pats me with his sweaty leather mitts.
"Where Am I?" I ask him, wiping the gross remains from my chin
"Your next door to your parents house" Charlie Zappa says to me
"Your...my neighbor?" I ask, but it occurs to me that I haven't ever really interacted with our neighbors in my life. I am however fairly certain I would have remembered if my next-door neighbor bore a striking resemblance to a dead rock star and an infamous psychopath.
"Yeah, I'm Bear" The man says to me. I ponder for a moment and then a thought occurs to me
"You're Mrs. Bears son, aren't you?"
"That's Me"
"So your Name is Bear...Bear?"
"Yeah...The Sixties man...fucked up!"
Not able to help myself I start to laugh uncontrollably, painfully and blissfully. Bear begins to laugh along with me, obviously aware how strange his name is to other people. As we are laughing I try to remember why I am in the House of Bear and not my own, but I can't seem to recall.
"Bear...why Am I here?" I ask
"Kevin, right?" Bear questions me
"Yeah, that's me. I guess you have probably known my name for a while"
"Just since the EMT told me your name"
"Wait...What?" I am frantic now, trying to recall what has brought me here. I can remember pieces, flashes before my eyes. They must be flashes from my nightmare, because I cannot live if they are true. Nothing clear is forming and I am becoming desperate. I stand up and begin to cross towards a window but Bear grabs me
"I don't think that's a good idea dude" He beckons me, but I do not respond. I break free from Bear's claws and rush towards the window...I stand in silence...And I remember...


Doughnuts. I thought to myself, I wanted to learn how to make Doughnuts. And why not? This delicious pastry couldn’t be that difficult if Bess Eaton, Dunkin Donuts and Honey Dew could all master it. I wobbled towards the kitchen in search of a cookbook to give me insight into my glazed gluttony.
"What are you looking for Sweetie?" My mother whispered in her magical voice.
"Just poking through some cookbooks Ma,” I said
"Ok, well let me know if you want my help with anything" She sang back to me, smiling. I love my mother, because she knew I was looking to make something sweet and it didn’t bother her. I am currently on the verge of being obese, my chubby fingers gripping the pages of Betty Crocker, and it didn’t bother her. I was getting slightly out of breath digging through cookbooks, not finding a real solid doughnut recipe. All I could find was a recipe for doughnut balls, munchkins really.
"You find anything munchkin?" Mother asks.
"Yeah...Ma, do you mind If I make cook some doughnut holes?" I beg
"Honey, if you promise not to eat them all yourself. You've got to share some with me" Once again...I love my mother. I really do, I feel as if I am one of the luckier children on earth. I have two parents who have been married for 25 years and still tell each other they love one another every chance they get. I have a mother who dotes on me, and father who is brilliant and always working hard to insure I have a better life than him. I also have an older brother who is so much a rebel that everything he does makes me look all the more angelic. I am the very definition of a spoiled middle class brat...and I love it.
"Of course!" I replied gleefully. Starting to mix together the ingredients I noticed it called for a deep fryer, which I don’t have. I read further and saw that you can manage without a deep fryer if you use a lot of Crisco on a skillet over low. It called for about a cup, which seemed a bit excessive to me. I read the directions again and it did indeed call for a cup of the chunky white fat, which I scooped onto the skillet and turn the stovetop on high. I then began to examine the other ingredients; powdered sugar, brown sugar, granulated sugar...hmm, sounded good. I begin to search the cupboards for flour in order to decide whether or not I wanted to make chocolate or just glazed. I couldn’t seem to locate the Dutch chocolate so I decided on...
Oh...that can't be good. I thought
"Ma?" I said
"Yes?" My mother answers, detecting the fear in my voice
"Where is the fire extinguisher?"
"WHAT?" My mother bolted out of her seat in the dining room and ran around the corner into the kitchen to see my disaster. Unbeknownst to me the pan of grease had erupted into a shooting column of flame. I hadn't read the directions carefully or I would have realized that grease is a combustible agent and must be kept at a low simmer. The flames were almost reaching the ceiling, but luckily they were not coming out of the pan. That is until my mother grabbed it and ran for the sink.
Before I could react she turned the water on. In that instant everything seemed to occur in slow motion. I wanted to shout and tell her that grease fires can only be put out by smothering or with fire extinguishers, but the words never come. She reacted instinctively, as any good mother would. I didn't know water could burn until that night. I watched as the flaming fountain poured across the counter, across the floor, across...her. She ran into the hall leading outside and stumbled on a pile of old newspapers kept there to reflect on historic moments of the past.
All those moments were engulfed in a towering inferno as my mother cried out in pain and fear. She ran outside of the house, flames dancing around her. I was alone...surrounded by a sea of fire that was consuming my existence, laughing at me as it crackles. I slowly allowed myself to take it all in, only a matter of seconds. I can do nothing; there isn't a fire extinguisher in sight.
What have I done? I thought to myself, the same thing my mother shouted out to be as she ran out of the house to put out the flames on her arms. Before she could return I had run upstairs to alert my brother of our slight problem.
I was weeping openly as I told him. He smirks at first, believing this some acting prank. He knew after two seconds that this was not a lie; there was truth in my horror. He bolted past me and ran down to the kitchen. His long brown hair streaking across my face, and I could smell liquor on his breath, whiskey.
"Holy Shit!" I heard him downstairs repeating again and again. I slumped in the office chair as smoke began to waft up the stairs. I wanted to sit there and let the flames consume me, as if welcoming an old friend home. It was what I deserved, so I sat there patiently waiting for death. Tom the Cat jumped into my lap and began to snuggle against my arm.
The Pets, I thought to myself, I have to save the pets. I Immediately I grabbed tomcat and ran outside to my parent’s car, which mercifully was unlocked. I tossed the confused Tom in the backseat and ran back inside to collect our dog Sandy and our other two cats.
Sandy was sleeping in the dining room, mere feet away from the now flame consumed Kitchen. Sandy wasn’t much of a watchdog, because at this point in her incredibly long and loved life she was almost completely blind and deaf. Although old, Sandy was just big enough to make it impossible for me to carry her. I tried to wake her only to have her gaze incredulously at me and go back to sleep. The heat of the fire was becoming too much to bear so I began to drag the dogs bed towards the front of the house. Sandy took no notice of me and continued napping. I managed to drag her and her comfy mattress to the front of the house to our front steps. Sandy remained unmoved as I ran back to look for our other two cats. Both cats were sitting on the dining room table staring at the flames, appearing almost transfixed. I grabbed the two of them and put one under each arm and ran out the front steps, forgetting of course I had placed our ancient beagle there. As I tumbled down the steps I was somehow able to gracefully place the cats down without hurting them. I stood back up and grabbed the cat’s, both who clawed at me for having the nerve to drop them.
After I manage to get the cats in the car and somehow convince Sandy to crawl in as well I realize I haven’t seen any members of my family come out of the house. I see headlights coming down the road and I instinctively jump in the street to flag them down, but they sped past and forced me to dive out of the way. As I collapse into the dirt I am able to look up and see my family safely on the side of my house. Soon I began to hear the sounds of fire trucks and police cars, and a sense of calm came over me. Then I watched the side of my house where my family stood explode.



I am overlooking the desolation that I have caused. The black smoldering remains of my home...of my life. The fire trucks have come and gone and I now stand in a stranger’s house while the rest of my family lay in hospital beds. Bear long ago went to bed as a remain motionless at the window. It has begun to rain and the droplets hit the ashen remains of my home, sending up smoke filled memories. I try to hold myself together, but I cannot. I turn around to face the room of dolls again, and as I look into the lifeless eyes I can see tears